The Choice Is Mine

There’s a hymn called “Have Faith in God” that we sang in church on Sunday, and it was one of those moments where I caught myself truly reading and pondering the words. As I did, I felt a lump forming in my throat and tears welling up in my eyes. I know it was the Holy Spirit convicting me and reminding me of the Lord’s faithfulness and of my lack of trust. I have been prone to wander, prone to doubt God’s goodness recently. I’m in the midst of a season where I feel like prayers are going unanswered, where I feel defeated and downtrodden. The pain in my hip is still unresolved, and I feel as though I’ve reached a dead end. I have too often caught myself comparing my life to the lives of those around me, and I end up feeling as though I got the short end of the stick. Even though I don’t want to admit it, I have found myself thinking, “God loves So-and-so more than He loves me. Maybe He doesn’t even love me at all.” If I’m not careful, I start believing those lies and doubting the truth.

In the comparison game, I am always the loser, so perhaps it’s time I stopped playing.

I have taken my eyes off Jesus and placed them on my problems, and that’s just a quick path to bitterness. I don’t want to be bitter. I want to live in joy and gratitude (like my Word for the year encourages me to!). I want to remember all of the good the Lord has done for me (and He’s done so much!). I want to pray about my problems instead of worry about them. I start worrying because I have somehow convinced myself that I will solve things if I just worry about them enough, as if I can worry away a chronic condition or hip pain, as if I have that kind of control! Honestly, the fact that I’m not in control, not even of my own body, drives me crazy. Yes, I can take steps to control certain aspects of my health, but other parts of it are out of my control, and I don’t like that. I can’t control when my body decides to be inflamed or not. I can’t control the pain in my hip. So I can choose to stress and fret and complain (and let’s face it, I do that more than I want to admit), or I can choose to take all of this junk to Someone who is much better-suited to handle all of it, and I can leave it at His feet. He invites me to come to Him. He says in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” It’s like He wrote that just for me! I am so heavy laden, but I don’t HAVE to be. I can find rest when I come to Jesus. I can find peace. Isaiah 26:3 says, “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” I’m not going to find peace by throwing pity parties. I’m not going to find peace by trusting in doctors or medicine or food. I will ONLY find peace when I take the focus off myself and place it onto my Savior. He alone is trustworthy at all times, in all things.

This week I will let the words of that hymn be a prayer. I will post them here, as a reminder to myself and anyone else stuck in a difficult season. Take heart, friends. God “watches over His own.”

Have faith in God when your pathway is lonely.
He sees and knows all the way you have trod;
Never alone are the least of His children;
Have faith in God, have faith in God.

Have faith in God when your prayers are unanswered,
Your earnest plea He will never forget;
Wait on the lord, trust His word and be patient,
Have faith in God. He’ll answer yet.

Have faith in God in your pain and your sorrow,
His heart is touched with your grief and despair;
Cast all your cares and your burdens upon Him,
And leave them there, oh, leave them there.

Have faith in God though all else fall about you;
Have faith in God, He provides for His own:
He cannot fail though all kingdoms shall perish.
He rules. He reigns upon His throne.

Refrain:

Have faith in God, He’s on His throne,
Have faith in God, He watches over His own;
He cannot fail, He must prevail,
Have faith in God, Have faith in God.

2 thoughts on “The Choice Is Mine

  1. thanks for this post, i have trouble with the “comparison game” too –we’ve had so many issues with my side of the family this year, and sometimes prayers don’t feel like they are doing much. i’ll be praying for your health issues–i know it must be hard to work and take care of a toddler while not feeling very well.

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  2. Erin, I too have to deal with pain everyday, but these verses keep me going: Lamentations 3:22-24 and Psalm 139:13-14. I hope they will help you too. I know that He is taking care of me all the time! I may not like it all the time, but his mercies are new every day!!

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