Some of my students called me “Professor Hetzel” today, and I wasn’t sure what to do, so I just let them. Hehe. Teaching is fun.
The classroom has improved somewhat, since it appears that someone cleaned out the random piles of boxes that were in one corner (they probably had drugs in them), and the desks are now in rows. I really hate desks in rows, though, and if it weren’t so blasted hot in there, I’d have them move the desks into a semicircle or something more “friendly” like that. The air runs full blast the entire time, but it still feels similar to what I imagine the inside of an oven feels like, which is less than delightful, to say the least. I guess the day that I went to see the classroom it felt cool because it had been vacant all day, the lights were off, and the door was shut. It’s still a completely hideous room, though. I took pictures with my camera phone, but I’m not exactly sure how to transfer them to my computer, so if I figure that out I’ll let you know.
This weekend I get to read their diagnostic essays, and I’ve already skimmed some of them, and they should be quite entertaining. Class dismissed.
1. “Irregardless” is not a word. Think about it; it makes no sense.
2. Words like “art,” “lute,” and “music” are not capitalized, unless they are in the title of something, like a museum or a book.
3. “Alot” is not a word!!! There is “allot,” meaning to allocate, or “a lot,” meaning many. I know I’ve said this many times, but it keeps creeping up in stuff I read. How did this get started? And how can I make it stop?
4. Starting a paper with “The (fill in tragic event here) was a terrible time in human history” is the most boring and unoriginal way to start a paper. You do that, and you instantly put the teacher to sleep.
5. Paragraphs are typically more than two sentences long. This rule can only be broken if you are a best-selling novelist. Then you can do whatever you want.
6. “Their” is a possessive pronoun, and “they’re” is a contraction for “they are.” Doesn’t seem hard, but somehow the two are constantly confused. (The same goes for “its” and “it’s.”)
7. Giving your paper the title “Paper 2” displays an egregious lack of creativity.
I think that about covers it. None of this is directed at any of you, but if you do any of the above, get some help. I’ll be glad to correct you. What errors drive you crazy?
It is so incredibly hot in the building I’ve been in all day that I think I may die of a heat stroke. If I do, it’s been lovely knowing all of you.
EDIT: I’m alive, in case anyone was wondering. Here’s today’s stupid comment from my stupidest things ever said calendar: “Today Lesbian forces invaded…no, sorry, that should be Lesbianese.” ~TV newscaster. Hahahaha.
Aww, I’m so sad that Gedeon was eliminated! (Thanks for the info, Stef!) He was way better than some of the other guys, he’s a Memphian, and he’s just so smiley. What’s not to love? And apparently one of my friends has his brother in her composition class, so it’s like I’m 3 degrees from Gedeon.
If Mandisa doesn’t become the next Idol, I’m never watching the show again. (And I say that every year I think, and yet here I am watching it again. Oh well.)
Ellen has the most random guests on her show. She just showed this clip of an elementary school teacher who can kick himself in the head with his foot. The guy demonstrated that, and then he proceeded to crush a can on his forehead, pop a balloon, and crack an egg, all with his foot. Then she had this guy who is a “gum sculptor,” and he “sculpted” a little dolphin and then a turtle using his mouth. I have a few questions about these people. First, how in the world do you discover that you can do something like sculpt things with your mouth? And two, how can I learn something like that and get on national TV?
I’m teaching later today. We’re talking about artistic depictions of religious deities, and I’m going to talk about my experience in Thailand and show them pictures of the Buddhist temples and shrines I visited. Should be fun.
I’m teaching for the first time at 2:30. I think I might throw up. What stinks is that the lesson is bound to be boring because we’re going to talk about the steps of writing a research paper. Unless I can come up with some sort of catchy rap before then, they’re all going to go to sleep. Oh well. At least they’ll get a good nap out of the deal.
I would also like to add that computers and I have a love-hate relationship. Meaning I love to hate them. I was really wanting to give you guys the link to the website I’m building, but we’re having all sorts of issues with the server and uploading, so I can’t. It looks mighty spiffy, though.
If you haven’t given me your feedback on the cross-country trip vs. summer school and job issue, please do, even though it’s pretty much unanimously in favor of the trip. So far, my parents are the only ones who aren’t crazy about the idea.
EDIT: Teaching went pretty well. The first class was a little chaotic, but the second one was good. Two of the students even told me I did a good job. (And then they made me pay them the $5 I promised if they said that.) I’m doing a little teaching on Monday as well, but I’m feeling much more confident now. Yay!