I have missed blogging. Even though I’m fairly certain people don’t read blogs much anymore, I miss writing one. Taking up blogging again seems a bit foolish right now, since some days I end up not even having a chance for a shower (#momlife), but I want to remember this time in my life, and blogging helps me document, in an albeit public way. So I’m going to do something I did a few years ago, which is take the 30 days of November to practice gratitude. I’ll write each day (or at least attempt to do so) about blessings big and small. I am so prone to negativity, so prone to letting one bad day or even a bad few hours sour my mood, and the best weapon for that is gratitude. In the chaos of every day life, it’s easy to take things for granted and not remember all I’ve been given, but as soon as I start forgetting, that’s when discontentment and bitterness can start to fester. With that in mind, today I give thanks for this:
Charlotte begged us to have a sister for years. She prayed for it, asked us to pray for it, and hoped and hoped. And oh, how I wanted to give that to her! But the last few years have been filled with health challenges that made me wonder at times if Charlotte would ever have a sibling. But God in His wisdom knew Charlotte wouldn’t be an only child, and in His timing we found out last year I was pregnant. Ava is a gift to all of us, but she did something only she could do for Charlotte: she made her a big sister. I watch Ava’s face light up every day when she sees Charlotte; I watch Charlotte do everything possible to make Ava laugh; I watch both of them and can barely get over the fact that these two beautiful girls are mine.
The past few months I have slept less than I can remember sleeping in a very long time. Ava stopped sleeping well at night, along with not napping well during the day, and it’s exhausting. Some days I have cried with the sheer frustration of it all. But I look at her grin and remember the Lord’s faithfulness. I see her tears and remember my own, during nights of pain and sickness when having another baby seemed like an impossible burden for my body to bear. I see her brown eyes alight with laughter and remember the prayers that were prayed for her before I even knew she would be a part of our family. Every day of her life is a testament of God’s kindness, and I never want to forget that.