It has been 22 days since I last weighed myself. (For the record, I haven’t been keeping a daily count. I just counted up the days for this post.)
To be honest, I don’t think this experiment is going very well. That whole healthy habits checklist I created? Haven’t looked at it on most days. I also haven’t been exercising regularly, nor have I been tracking my food. I have done pretty well getting enough water and fiber, but those were things I was already doing on a regular basis. Most mornings I remember to eat fruit, but I haven’t done as well at lunch and dinner.
And to be honest, the degree to which I feel bad about this lack of success varies on a daily basis. I have enjoyed not weighing in. I have enjoyed not being obsessed with all things healthy. But I haven’t enjoyed feeling like I am fat and always will be. I haven’t enjoyed thinking about the fact that I will be 30 next month and would like some new clothes, but I don’t want to buy them from the plus size section.
Am I healthier than I was 4 years ago? Without a doubt. But am I healthier than I was one or two years ago? Definitely not. Apparently unless I am weighing myself or obsessing, I do a really lousy job of being healthy. So what do I do? I have no idea. I kind of want to weigh myself to give myself a good kick in the pants, but I don’t know if that would motivate me or just depress me.
For today, I’m just trying to get all of the things on my checklist checked off. Fruit with breakfast and veggies with lunch. Lots of water and fiber. Logging my calories.
Tomorrow I’ll do the same. And maybe, hopefully, somehow, the healthy habits will actually become just that–HABITS, and not something I have to always think about.
To weigh or not to weigh? That is the question.