Weigh-in Wednesday: No More Numbers

Last week’s weight: 188.2
This week’s weight: 190.2
GAIN of 2 pounds

Yes, you read that right. I gained two pounds.  In one week.  Even though I exercised 4 times, the most I’ve exercised all month long.  You wanna know how I managed this awesome pathetic feat? I ate. I had a Blizzard one night, I had brownies two nights in a row, and on Monday night I ate my weight in food at Logan’s. 

I am completely embarrassed.  And angry.  And beyond frustrated.  I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself: see progress on the scale, then get elated and immediately loosen up on my eating. 

But this morning I had a bit of an epiphany: this all goes back to how I respond to the number on the scale.  When it’s a good week, I’m ecstatic about my success, but this usually results in my slacking off, either with exercise or with tracking my food.  When it’s a bad week, I’m upset by my lack of progress, which usually results in the figurative (and sometimes literal) throwing up of my hands and adopting the “Well, I already blew it so I may as well eat what I want” mindset.  Even I only do this for one day before getting my act together, I can do a LOT of damage in that one day.  The way I see it: both the good and bad days on the scale have one thing in common: I react to that number by losing focus.  Logically, I realize it makes NO SENSE for me to respond to a loss on the scale by eating more, but I’ve done it time and time again recently, so I have to face the facts. And logically, I realize it makes NO SENSE to react to a gain by eating more (since that’s how I got the gain in the first place), and yet I’ve done that time and time again, too.

The solution?

I’m letting go of the scale.  My husband hid it this morning, and I have no idea where it is. I’m not putting a time frame on this; I’m just going to live my life for a little while, focus on eating healthy and moving my body, and when I feel like the time is right, I’ll ask my husband to take the scale out of hiding. 

I’m completely terrified by this, but I think that’s a sign that in fact this is a good idea. I have been letting the number on the scale define me, and I don’t want that.  Not one bit.  And I definitely don’t want my sweet, precious, beautiful baby girl to grow up with a mommy whose mood is determined by what some little inanimate object says. I want her to be confident in who she is and to feel beautiful and treasured and loved, and if I’m going to give that to her, I have to give it to myself as well.  For right now, that means that the scale can’t be the way I measure my progress.  (More to come in a later post about how I do plan to measure my progress.)

So adios, scale. I don’t know when we’ll meet again, but I guarantee that when we do, you will hold no power over me.

7 thoughts on “Weigh-in Wednesday: No More Numbers

  1. Way to go! I think I might need to adopt this policy for a little while, too, once I'm able to start losing weight. I definitely get way too caught up in the number on the scale. It's ridiculous because that number doesn't indicate a thing about your overall health and well-being. Good for you!


  2. I think that is a great idea. Those numbers on that scale mess with my head too…even though before I get on I tell myself it doesn't matter. I did my best dieting when I didn't have a scale at home and only weighed myself once a week at the gym.


  3. I know what you mean. The last 2-3 weeks I dreaded my weigh-in, since no matter what I did I wasn't losing (much). But when I found myself stepping on the scale multiple times a day, I knew things were getting bad. It was almost becoming an idol and once I realized that, I stopped hopping on and off at any opportunity.
    I haven't gone “cold turkey” like you are, but I think you're on the right track.
    I am quite interested in what you are going to do for your tracking in the meantime. 🙂


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