May starting weight: 197.6
Weight as of 5/15/11: 197.6

Yes, you read that right.  I GAINED back all of the weight I lost in the first week.  How pathetic am I?  Pretty pathetic.  You know what’s even more pathetic?  Instead of getting all fired up and motivated to show that scale who’s boss, I’ve mostly just felt defeated and have been sabotaging my efforts.  For example, I made homemade chocolate chip cookies on Sunday.  Here’s a weight loss tip for you: don’t bake desserts for yourself while trying to lose weight.  And another tip: don’t eat 5 of aforementioned cookies in one sitting, like I did today at lunch.  I don’t know what is wrong with me.  I told Stephen, only half jokingly, that I have an overeating disorder.  Is that crazy?  I feel like I am going crazy some days, and other days I feel perfectly in control of my eating.  I am in desperate need of balance, and I don’t know how to find it.  I long to have a normal relationship with food so Charlotte doesn’t learn my bad habits. 

Anyway, here’s how I did with the rest of my goals:

Abstain from soda and chocolate candy and limit chips to one serving size.  Sort of done, although I think the chocolate chips in the cookies I made count as candy, so I definitely didn’t achieve 100% of this goal. 

Exercise 3 days a week for at least 30 minutes a time.  I only exercised 2 times, not 3. 

Track all of my food either on SparkPeople or on the computer.  5/7 days.  Once again, the weekend tripped me up. 
 
Drink at least 64 ounces of water a day.  6/7 days this time. I WILL get 7/7 this week. 

All in all, last week was not my greatest showing.  I am struggling, but I am not going to give up.  I have to keep fighting because I am fighting not just for myself but for my daughter and for Stephen.