One Day at a Time

Thanks to the office being closed this Friday, I am almost finished with my first week back at work, and I couldn’t be more relieved!  Monday was really hard.  I was emotionally on edge all day, and when I got back from lunch after being at home and seeing Charlotte, I cried.  I thought about her all day long and just missed her SO much.  Fortunately, Tuesday was a bit better, and then today was better still, but I still think about my sweet baby girl all the time.  Of course, let’s face it:  it would be weird if I WEREN’T thinking about her all the time, right??  I am still super anxious about her starting daycare next week, but I keep reminding myself that it is not the end of the world and that I need to put Charlotte completely in God’s hands instead of thinking that I am in control.  He is completely sovereign, and I know He loves Charlotte far more than I can even imagine, so why should I worry?  For now, I have to focus on taking it one day at a time.

I am sad to report that this week the scale informed that I have gained three pounds.  I honestly do not feel as though I could have eaten enough extra calories last week to warrant such a gain, especially because when I was at home with Charlotte I didn’t exactly have time to sit around and eat all day.  I was lucky when I was able to get in 3 square meals.  Maybe that was part of the problem, who knows?  Still, seeing that gain completely threw me for a loop and has left me feeling a bit like I will never lose the rest of this weight. I know it hasn’t even been 8 weeks since I had Charlotte, but I really thought I would have lost more weight by now.  But if I am 100% honest with myself, it’s not as though I have really put in the effort it takes to have lost more weight by this point.  I can’t keep eating junk and expect the pounds to melt away just because I am exercising 30 minutes here and there.  That just doesn’t make weight loss sense! 

Speaking of exercising 30 minutes here and there, last night I completely Week 1 Day 1 of Couch to 5k!  It was definitely challenging, and as I was struggling through each 60 second jog, I kept thinking, “Was I really able to walk/run 11 miles at one point?!”  I am so out of shape right now that it’s hard to believe I did that, but I did, and that means it is still possible!  I don’t even know if I want to aim for running 11 miles; at this point I’d be thrilled to run 3!  I am just going to take it one workout at a time and do my best to make Couch to 5k a success for the second time around, and then I will see what other running-related goals I may want to set for the rest of the year. 

Ultimately, my life these days is all about taking things one day at a time.  If I try and think beyond that, I’ll drive myself insane.  I cling to the words in Matthew 6:34:  “Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.” 

2 thoughts on “One Day at a Time

  1. praying for your heart in all of this–i can't even imagine the emotional turmoil you must be going through with all the changes! Yes, cling to that verse and remember that God is ultimately in control.

    And I really appreciate your weight loss honesty. I've been basically doing the same thing–eating junk but upping my exercise and thinking that is going to make some kind of magic. Nope. I can't use so much butter and lose weight! but I'm loving the exercise TV stuff on our DVR and have really been challenging myself with that.


  2. Praying for you Erin…changes can be so hard- but you are right, God is sovereign!

    Um…I did Day one of C25K….but then it's been raining like crazy…so I just clean my house instead. It burns the same amount of calories, right?


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