I have to be honest. I am really struggling with feeling motivated about weight loss. What is sad about this is that I should be very motivated for a number of reasons. Let’s list them, shall we?
1. I have not lost any weight for the past 3 weeks. In fact, on some days my weight has actually been up a pound or two.
2. I have very few clothes that fit me properly. Very few of my pre-pregnancy tops and pants fit me, and my maternity clothes are really too big, but that hasn’t stopped me from wearing my maternity jeans just about every day, even though I have to pull them up approximately 82 times.
3. I went shopping over the weekend to find something for Easter and couldn’t find anything. Then I got depressed when I tried on several items from the misses section and only one shirt fit. I couldn’t even wear XL in most of the tops.
4. I ended up buying a top in a section I thought I was through visiting–the plus size section. (Although I will say that most things I tried on were too big for me.)
Shouldn’t that be enough to motivate me? #4 especially was upsetting to me yesterday, and yet here I find myself today wondering why I can’t get my act together. I admit that I have struggled to find any sort of routine at home, which makes it hard to figure out when I can exercise or even when I can find time to eat lunch, much less eat a healthy lunch. And the meals I plan for dinner have leaned more toward convenience than health as well, so I’m certainly not helping myself in that department.
Ultimately, however, it doesn’t matter that I’m not motivated. In the past when I’ve been unmotivated to work out or make healthy choices, I’ve just told myself to fake it until I make it, to not care how I feel but to just do it. And it worked. Pushing past times when I’ve lacked motivation is what helped me lose 90 pounds before, so clearly I can do it.
So why is it so hard right now?
I don’t have an answer for myself, no inspiring words to offer. But I do know this: I CAN lose weight. I want and need to lose weight. The only way I will fail is if I don’t even try.