Has anyone else ever gone on autopilot while eating? I did tonight. I was still hungry at 8 p.m., which is my self-imposed curfew. I had already eaten blueberries and we had no other fruit in the house (sad, I know), but I really wanted to eat something, so I had a handful of tortilla chips. Then another handful. And then two cups of chocolate chip ice cream.
All while watching The Biggest Loser. Yes, I am THAT person. Jillian would eat me for breakfast.
The whole time I was eating, I knew I needed to stop, but I didn’t. It was almost as if I just turned off my brain and let my mouth take over. Now I feel sick and gross.
Why did I do it? Should I not be past these kinds of binges? Should I not be able to resist these urges to snack? Yes, but as I’ve realized, that doesn’t always mean I will make the right decisions. Gluttony is a sin I will probably battle to some extent for the rest of my life, and I need to always have my guard up and remember to take captive those wayward thoughts and make them obedient to Christ. The challenge is to move past it, not dwell on it and pout and use it as an excuse to make MORE bad decisions. Every day I have to choose to live a healthy life, to love God and not my stomach, and every day I have to accept that I am responsible for the choices I make, whether good or bad. Today was not so great, but as Anne Shirley says, “Tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it.” I am going to make the most of it.
Praise God, whose mercies are new every morning.