Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

I am struggling.

I decided to weigh myself Sunday morning, and I was at 1902. In a little over one week I have gained 1.8 pounds, which is all of the weight I lost in July, plus a little extra. My eating has been terrible. I haven’t struggled so much with wanting food and thinking about food and obsessing over food since very early in my weight loss journey. If I’m not eating food, I’m thinking about food. When I was in the grocery store last week, it was all I could do to go past the bakery without buying all manner of baked goods. I crave all sweets, all the time. Except for when I crave Doritos or Fritos. While I don’t always give in to these cravings (sometimes only because what I want is not in the house, praise the Lord), I give in far more than I should. And while I was somewhat aware of this issue in July, it has definitely come to the forefront of my mind this month. I can think of a few reasons why I am struggling so much with desires for food right now:

1. I am at home alone for large portions of the day, giving me ample time to think about food and ample access to that food.

2. I am stressed about not having a job and feeling worthless, so I turn to food for comfort.

3. I have gotten lazy with my thinking towards food.

The solution? I am not entirely sure, but being aware of the underlying problems is definitely a step in the right direction. I know that part of the solution for problem #1 is to keep myself. I have a list of things to do today, many of which will take me outside of the house, which is a good thing. But I can only come up with so many errands to run, especially when we don’t have a bank account with funds that magically reproduce themselves. However, I can definitely make sure that if nothing else the house is clean and organized every day, so that will help, as will lots and lots of exercise.

Problems #2 and 3 are more abstract and therefore tougher to manage. While I know that worrying and stressing is pointless and that thinking before I eat is immensely important, knowing and doing are vastly different, and I have been struggling with that difference daily. I’ve been reminded once again that losing weight is not just about changing the body physically; losing weight involves an emotional and spiritual makeover as well. Ultimately, what I have realized in the past week or so is that I am in a battle for my mind, and I am letting the enemy win every time I forget the truths of Scripture. If I do not take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ, if I do not think on the good, lovely, perfect things, if I do not remember to be still and know that He is God, then the chaotic, miserable existence I’ve been living is the result.

I cannot keep going through this. Therefore, I’m becoming proactive. I am spending quality time reading the Bible, I am going to find passages of Scripture that speak directly to my tendency toward worry and fear, and I am going to start thinking before I eat. This morning I read two wonderful blog entries by Diane at Fit to the Finish about breaking up with food, and that is exactly what I need to do. No more co-dependence, no more mindless eating, no more guilt sessions about eating too much. I have to remember that as much as I love food, food doesn’t love me back!

Easier said than done? Absolutely. But that certainly isn’t going to prevent me trying.

Watch out, food. You’ve met your match.

14 thoughts on “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

  1. I am so glad you are breaking up. I want to break up too. Have you checked into any books? I just got some from the library but haven't read them yet. I'll let you know.

    Love you and THANK YOU SO MUCH for being so supportive this past week. Your words have helped a lot.

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  2. I feel your struggles. I'm an emotional eater as well. So when I'm bored or tired or whatever, I eat. I need to break up with food too. This is another obstacle to push through. I know you can get through it. You're on the right track!
    I'm praying for you.

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  3. I've been thinking all of this in my brain, too, and have decided that I need to live simpler. To concentrate on making myself better, and to not be distracted by things that are not important to the well being of my family. This is all about 5 minutes old, mind you, but I just wanted to share that you're not alone. 🙂 I am embarking on a journey and want to not only arrive in style, but learn what I need to learn along the way and enjoy it. 🙂

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  4. Heck yes girl! I totally understand the deal with being at home. I constantly have to give myself chores and errands to do so I don't think about food constantly. I have finally decided that I am starting a food journal, now I just need to find out how many calories I should be eating each day. Keep it up girl. YOU CAN DO IT! Well okay you can't but with God you totally can!

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  5. i know whatyou mean, whenever i'm not working i just sit at home and snack all day–i'll be praying for you in your job search, its so hard finding something good nowadays!

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  6. Ugh, I think we walk parallel paths. I am dealing with this exact same issue over the past few weeks. I will pray for you if you pray for me. I'm getting strict with my food journal again – that seems to motivate me best. Have a great week!!!

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  7. Thanks so much for the mention! You have all the things you need in place, and I really think you will be successful!

    You are wise beyond your years. Emotional break-ups with food are really hard to do, and sometimes take a long time to make a complete break!

    This was one of the hardest things to overcome for me.

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  8. found my way here through Annie's blog & well…I'm not really sure how to say it other than – YOU ARE MY TWIN. no seriously. i'm not trying to be creepy or anything.
    the other day i saw a picture of myself & wanted to run to the restroom & throw up what i had eaten for the past two years. like you, i once lost 60 lbs…like you, i gained it all back. and, like you, i have recently started a section on my blog in hopes of authenticity & accountability in weight loss – & doing it right. i'm not looking to find who i am in a smaller size, but who i am in Christ. your post very much encouraged me to continue in this journey. 🙂
    THANK YOU for your transparency. i am certainly clicking the “subscribe” button!

    much love.
    -elora

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  9. Great post. This is a spritual journey for sure. I am being more loving to myself. When I am like that I am loving to those around me. That is Christ-like behavior.

    When I take a moment and see God's hand in my life, I am grateful. Gartitude is a verb…..an action word. I love to Pay It Forward.

    I have an addiction to food. I know I need a Higher Power to overcome it!

    Great Post!!

    Like

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