Friday was day 3 of week 4, and it was HARD. I almost didn’t complete the last 5-minute run. After the first 5-minute run, my shins were burning, and so I stretched some more, and then after the next 3-minute run, I was feeling fatigued. I started the session at 5.0 mph, but I had to kick it back to 4.8, then 4.7. 4.7! That seems so slow to me, especially when I typically walk at 4.2-4.3 mph. Anyway, the recovery walk before the last run seemed WAY too short, so I took an extra minute to recover, and then I told myself I would only do 3 minutes instead of 5 and call it a day. So I started jogging again, and it was all I could do not to look at the clock every 5 seconds to see how much time had passed. The negative self-talk started up. I started thinking that I would never be able to complete the program, that if I did complete it I would have the slowest time in the world, and on the day of the 5k I’d finish dead last, and that I would never improve. Somehow, I realized the poisonous nature of this internal dialogue and remembered that the quickest path to failure is pessimism, and I stopped the negativity. Then I started imagining I was at a race, and all of my friends and family were cheering me on. 1 minute passed, then 2 and 3, and I told myself, “I’ve already done this much, surely I can do a little more! Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean I can’t do it!” So I ran the full 5 minutes and officially completed week 4!
However, I have decided to repeat week 4. I feel like it was more difficult at the end than at the beginning, which is the opposite of how I have felt previous weeks, and I don’t want to push myself more than my body can handle. It really kills me to repeat a week, and I keep thinking I have failed, but the only way I will have truly failed is if I stop trying. And I’m definitely not going to stop trying.
My plan this week is to focus on doing 2 sessions of week 4 again, and then if I feel good, I may attempt day 1 of week 5. I’m just going to take it a day at a time and be careful and listen to my body.
Now here’s hoping I survive!