The following is from the beginning of a SparkPeople article:
If we had friends that treated us the way that many of us treat ourselves, they wouldn’t be our friends for very long. Imagine a friend who calls up just to complain–about you. Or an alleged buddy who quickly says “I told you so” when you screw up. Or someone who encourages you to give up instead of encouraging you to do your best.
Why do we do this? Why do we treat ourselves in such horrible ways? For some, the negative self-talk is so bad that it would literally be considered verbal abuse if coming from another person. Do any of these sound familiar? “I’m not good enough.” “I knew I’d fail.” “I can’t believe I messed it up again.” “Why can’t I be more like (fill in the blank)?” “I don’t deserve to be happy.” If someone said these things to you, imagine the impact it would have on your confidence.
Those 2 paragraphs really resonated with me, and I think there is a lot of truth to the idea that we rarely subject others to the same level of abuse to which we subject ourselves. I am constantly saying things like, “I am so stupid” or “I can’t believe I did that,” or “What is wrong with me?” and yet I would never dream of talking to someone else like that! And I don’t think this concept of self-hatred is just some kind of pop psychology; it has theological roots. If I am profoundly dissatisfied with myself, that dissatisfaction stems from distrust in God’s perfect wisdom and design. His Word tells me I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and He takes great delight in me and rejoices over me with singing (Zephaniah 3:17). Those are powerful words, friends! God rejoices over His children! He DELIGHTS in me. And I look at myself with contempt and loathing, questioning why God made me the way He did, as if I know better. How dare I question the Maker of heaven and earth, He who placed the stars in the sky, who causes the mountains to tremble?
Does anyone else struggle with this? How do you deal with it?