Don’t Pee in the Pool

The complex where Stephen and I live has a pool, and we like to take advantage of it while we can since it is more likely than not that we won’t ever have a pool again, and our times of swimming together have taught me something. People are rude in the pool. The following are a few simple guidelines, that if adopted, could make everyone’s pool experience much more enjoyable. Read, ponder, embrace.

1. If you have small children at the pool and they are swimming, kindly ask them to refrain from making large jumps into the pool near other swimmers (and by near I mean within one foot of another person). This almost always results in an unwelcome dousing on the innocent bystanders, often in the facial region.

2. If you have small children at the pool and they are swimming, remind them that their friends/siblings are only a few inches from them and therefore shouting matches are not really necessary.

3. If the pool is crowded, it’s probably best not to do laps across the pool, as this almost always results in innocent bystanders being hit by flailing limbs.

4. If the pool is crowded, playing catch at opposite ends of the pool is not really the greatest idea. This almost always results in innocent bystanders being hit by wayward water toys.

5. Wearing shoes like flip flops into the actual pool is never a good idea, as this almost always results in innocent bystanders having to wade through grass and dead bugs.

If you’ve guessed that the phrase “innocent bystanders” refers to Stephen or me, you guessed correctly. This however does not negate the validity of these guidelines. I encourage all of my readers to remember them next time you go to the pool.

In fact, it’s probably just best to do nothing in the pool but stand there. 🙂

4 thoughts on “Don’t Pee in the Pool

  1. I feel this is a solid list except you missed one IMPORTANT point. The pool is not a restroom. Please do not make innocent bystanders sick by turning a swimming pool into a porta potty.\Are you planning on viewing the movie Becoming Jane?

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  2. Hmmm…I concur. One question though…is it really true that if you pee in the pool that a neon purple ring will appear around you in the water? 🙂 Crazy urban legends…and yet, it was a deterrant (Sp?) for me back in the day! 🙂

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