Meditations on Singlehood, Part One

EDIT: Dumbest commercial ever: A woman jogging, with a voiceover that says, “I can’t concentrate. Could I be pregnant?” Um, WHAT?! That’s the worst logic I’ve ever heard! Come on, Ept, think of something better than “I can’t concentrate!” Next thing you know we’ll be hearing, “I’m so tired. Could I be pregnant?” Sheesh.

And oops, pretty sure we forgot to pay the rent. It was due on the first. It’s always due on the first, so how in the world we managed to forget is beyond me. We’ll probably be homeless tomorrow. Awesome.

I’ve always been of the old-fashioned persuasion and felt that men should be the pursuers in relationships, but what about Ruth? She laid herself at the feet of Boaz as a way of saying “Hey, I’m available!” This certainly caught Boaz’s attention, seeing as how they ended up getting married, so what does that mean? I read a two-part article about “pulling a Ruth” that talks about the importance of women making themselves available to men and not being passive, and this isn’t the first article that’s talked about women not just “settling” with singlehood, but how are we supposed to do that without looking like we’re desperate or trying to take control? Do I wear a sign on my clothes that says, “Hey, Christian guys, I’m single and want to settle down?” I guess I’ve always just assumed that guys figured most women had marriage on the brain from the age of 2. Not only that, but it frustrates me that so many Christian guys can’t seem to get up enough guts to just ask a girl out. All of this is a big puddle of confusion in my head, but here’s what’s had me thinking a lot the past few months:

1. Are there things about me or my life that would suggest to single guys that I’m not open to marriage right now? Does pursuing my MA and possibly my PhD mean I’m sending out some sort of message that implies I want a career over marriage?
2. I read all sort of articles and hear messages from speakers that urge singles not to delay marriage but to embrace it and enjoy it while young. That’s all well and good, but it’s not like I’ve been keeping guys at arm’s length and refusing marriage proposals left and right. What am I supposed to do until marriage presents itself? Where’s the middle ground?
3. How can I encourage Christian men to step up and be the leader God wants them to be in relationships? What could I potentially be doing that would discourage them from this?
4. How can I both embrace the idea of marriage but at the same time pursue a career?
5. Am I willing to give up my aspirations of being a professor were I to meet someone I want to marry? In other words, would I be willing/able to put family over career?

I’m not sure what compelled me to write all of this, but I’ve been dealing with these questions for a while and thought it might be good to hear what you think. So please jump in with advice, comments, criticisms, etc.

Stay tuned for part two: Is God enough?

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