Calvary Love

Haha, I have “medium neuroticism.” Sweet. It’s pretty accurate, though. My favorite one: “You’re not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party.” That about sums me up!

In other news, it looks like my friend is no longer coming, and I’m kind of bummed. Now I’m stuck with no plans for tonight. But life must go on, and I’m trying to be positive these days, so I’ll just look at it as an opportunity to spend time in meditation and reflection. Right. At least I have a Super Bowl party to go to on Sunday. You all know how much I love football. I’m stoked. (End sarcasm.) Who’s playing again? Seriously, I don’t know. But the party should be fun. Good food, good people. I can handle that.

I just read this in a tiny but powerful book called If by missionary Amy Carmichael: “If I do not feel far more for the grieved Savior than for my worried self when troublesome things occur, then I know nothing of Calvary love.” Ouch. This is something I am definitely trying to work on. I’m terribly self-absorbed, self-pitying, and all those other negative words that begin with “self.” I waste so much time thinking about myself instead of thinking about the goodness and mercy of God. Dwelling on His glory is certainly a much better use of my time, and if I can’t even do that, how can I say I love Him?

Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who became his counselor? Or who has first given to Him that it might be paid back to Him again? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen. ~Romans 11:33-36

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